BE POSITIVE

Being positive- is it a state of mind or situations? 

Being positive as per my understanding means the attitude with which you live in the world and face your own insecurities. We have so many personality types - positive, negative, introvert, extrovert, dominant, submissive - psychologists will be able to build the classification tree better. I would rather look at it from my own view of life which I have lived and aspired for. I believe that positive traits are definitely inherent but can also be acquired through training. We just have to realise that our minds are swathes of unexplored territory. Areas of our brain are still virgin and unused - they remain so till our death. Scientist have proven this in the pristine controlled environs of the laboratory. So the negative traits which inhabit our minds can be overridden by the positives which we can cultivate. The way towards this is mindful living and conscious actions. When we live most of our lives consciously we become aware of everything that we as humans are experiencing. Being conscious of our actions and our thoughts is the first and the ultimate step to changing our personalities. When we catch ourselves doing something which is not very appealing we can divert and steer ourselves towards more desirable thought processes. Every time we nip a negative process and allow a positive one to prevail we prune and tame our personal traits. Its like weeding out the undesirables and providing ample sunshine to the desirables to grow and flourish. I do this and most of the times am able to draw myself back from the brink. Whenever I catch myself in an unhappy territory I change direction and move towards happier thoughts, things, people, events, future plans and lo and behold! I am in a happy place. But a very important prerequisite for such utopian situations is the absence of external negative factors - mostly people. Such draining entities need to be shown the exit door. As I always tell my Mother-in-law we have the choice to pick people to be part of our lives irrespective of the fact whether we are born or married into a certain group. An average life span of 70 years which when deconstructed doesn’t leave much scope for self harm through unwanted associations. That small portion of our lives needs a selfish outlook on our behalf. Selfish as in a greed for happiness and peace of mind.

IT'S AN UNEQUAL WORLD!

The world proves time and again that it was created equal but nurtured unequal by throwing nirbhayas at us relentless. So many candles have burnt out in taking out candle marches. So many petitions filed and heard. So many protests lodged. But where do we find ourselves today? Again facing the stark reality that a lone woman is just an easy sexual prey. 

We want our girls to be independent and empowered. But as a mother of a fairly smart and intelligent girl I wonder what is the point. I can equip her in whichever way she chooses but what can I teach her that will save her life if she's stranded with a punctured scooty on a lonely road? What can she do if four debauched men decide to overpower her? It leaves me numb with worry to even acknowledge that I can't protect her enough. That even if she knows self defence she will still be at risk. That even if she is a doctor and working as hard as any other human being she would still be a sex object. That even if she can drive a car or ride a scooty she will be pounced upon. That even if she has a plethora of laws to guarantee her safety there will be men who would fearlessly go ahead with their nefarious plans.

We can not reduce such crimes to candle marches and demonstrations in front of police stations. We cannot lay all the blame on the government and the system. Yes the system needs to be more stringent, expedient and merciless as far as the conviction and execution of punishment to the rapists is concerned. But we as a society need to raise more manly men. As mothers we need to teach our sons that our daughters and others' daughters are also born equal. Its not the who women need to be empowered, they are way too strong, though their strength doesn't show in their physiques. I feel its the men who need to empowered to be able to handle such strong women. Their failures and their miserable pathetic lives stare them in the face when they see a successful, good looking and confident woman leading a good life. 

Strong laws which don't differentiate between juveniles and adults in acts of sexual violence (if he can get it up and knows what to do with an erection then he bloody well face the consequences), a society which is much more sensitive to the existence of the significant half of the population, women who teach the men under them to be better human beings and looking beyond the sexual identity of women could possibly preserve dignities and save lives of our girls.